A look at the fascinating and often infuriating sub-culture of Mothers...from THE MOMMY MAFIA; the Urban Dictionary of Mothers by LJ Charleston - publication date late 2013 - with more than 100 different categories of weird & wonderful Mothers. From Olympic Mom (My kid was walking at nine months, what's wrong with yours?) to Can't Stop Breeding Mom (six kids and another on the way!) Thrift Shop Mom (this dress only cost me $2!) to Natural Birth Interrogator Mom (WHY did you have a C-section? You really missed out on the real motherhood experience!)

Remember, in motherhood, a woman is more dangerous than a shotgun.

If you thought meeting the parents was tough, now it's time to meet the mommies.


Follow the Mommy Mafia on Twitter @themommymafia

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Nanny Mom

Nanny Mom was so busy shopping for new light fittings for the new house, she left her tribe with Helga. Or was it Gunta? She fires those European nannies over the smallest thing. The last one was ordered to leave the house because she 'stole' a biscuit from the family cupboard and left wet towels on the bathroom floor for two days. Nanny Mom needs to ask the nanny what the kids are ‘into’ these days; from food to games, toys and books. Many of these moms do not work. They need a nanny to help with the housework, take kids to and from school, make their lunches and baby-sit the toddler so mom can go to the gym. It’s almost a status symbol. Yet, it isn’t. Most Nanny Moms go out of their way to employ a plain, frumpy nanny so the husband doesn’t find her appealing. One Nanny Mom claims she put locks on the bathroom door when her husband kept ‘accidentally’ walking in on the nanny when she was in the shower.The offspring of Nanny Moms are usually very well behaved...for the nanny. But when the mother resumes duties, they tend to play up, leaving the mother to appreciate her nanny all the more. This often results in a pay rise that will last until Helga gets homesick for Berlin; or until she’s poached by another unscrupulous Nanny Mom. One Nanny Mom discovered a pair of black lacy underpants in the basket of her toddler’s stroller. Apparently the nanny took the toddler with her on visits to her boyfriend’s apartment where the child was put in front of a Doctor Who DVD whilst Nanny and her lover were busy in the bedroom