A look at the fascinating and often infuriating sub-culture of Mothers...from THE MOMMY MAFIA; the Urban Dictionary of Mothers by LJ Charleston - publication date late 2013 - with more than 100 different categories of weird & wonderful Mothers. From Olympic Mom (My kid was walking at nine months, what's wrong with yours?) to Can't Stop Breeding Mom (six kids and another on the way!) Thrift Shop Mom (this dress only cost me $2!) to Natural Birth Interrogator Mom (WHY did you have a C-section? You really missed out on the real motherhood experience!)

Remember, in motherhood, a woman is more dangerous than a shotgun.

If you thought meeting the parents was tough, now it's time to meet the mommies.


Follow the Mommy Mafia on Twitter @themommymafia

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Afternoon tea with Neat Freak Mom

Neat Freak mom lives as though there are no children in the house. If a child drops even a crumb of a cookie, these Moms will whip out the vacuum cleaner in an instant. She virtually much neglects her kids because she is so busy dusting and cleaning up after them. Of course, she always takes spare set of clothes with her in case a kid gets even the smallest amount of dirt or food or , God forbid, a blueberry stain.

She doesn't like to take her kids to the park because the park is full of dirt and kids get dirty. Kids never allowed to do things like jump in a puddle or roll through the autumn leaves. In fact her kids are forced to wash their hands at least six times a day; sometimes twice depending on the grime, depending on whether they have petted a dog, cat or guinea pig.

Neat Freak Mom cannot handle seeing any food around her toddler's mouth so she's constantly wiping him until the lower part of his face is red. She stands closeby, a face cloth in her hand on standby just an inch from her child's chin at all times. In fact the face cloth is usually in her pocket for any ‘emergencies.’ She also keeps a dust buster in the car...food is banned in the car but on the rare occasion a child is brave enough to smuggle a cookie in the back seat, she will pull over, even on major highway, and bust that dust. She will never lighten up.


Orhan Kahn said...

She also keeps a dust buster in the car..

Oh, my.

nickig said...

Nothing wrong with a dustbuster, in fact I have recommended them to friends as a great toy for kids, get them to do the work....